brassnbridle

And we can’t change that. No matter how hard we try. So really, how can anyone say whether or not it would be better if this hadn’t happened? If nobody ...

Would you mind reading a star wars fanfiction? if you don't like star wars or something, I totally understand. Masters, Padawans, and Mysteries- a Clone Wars tale fanfiction 1,181 words ...

This is just my opinion, but I think you should change to past tense. We speak in past tense and past tense reads easier and smoother and often makes more ...

This is being co-written by me and my cousin and has yet to be completed, but here's the first chapter! I sighed, gazing at the city around me. Hopefully Cody ...

I got a bit confused after the boy took the black sphere, espeicially the last paragraph. They way I understood it, whole fire thing is somehow the result of the ...

well hopefully this works:

Hi, would you mind reading my fantasy? topic53526.html

Sasha- Sure thing. This is mostly introductions and such, first draft, and I hope to add more to the characters as I go. Again, this piece an experiment for me, ...

This's one hard girl! You write very well and use good vocabulary and sentence formation. But you have a few run-on sentences, and occasionally get carried away with comas. For ...

Hi! Title: Meetings, New Lords, and Well-Worn Swords Link: topic53526 Genre: Fantasy Points of Interest: title ideas, general opinions, characters and dialogue Any help's appreciated!

Just wanted to say your opening was kinda slow- lots of books start with storms. In my opinion the characters didn't speak very naturally, but then if they're wizards and ...

Ok, first of all your story was written in completely short, choppy sentences. Like someone above said- show, don't tell! Let us know how the characters feel and think! Also, ...

I think its well written and other than minor grammar and editing mistakes it reads well. It catches your attention, as described previously. Personally I'd hope for a bit more ...

First of all,I'm sorry the title is pathetic in the extreme but it was all I could come up with spur of the moment. It will change when a better ...

First of all, this is a really really long post. I'll be reading it in a couple parts. It really does make it easier on the reviewer if the post ...