bookworm201

Yeah, I thought it was stupid, but I needed a second opinion. I'll probably pull this out in a few years and fix it, but right now, this was just ...

Be forewarned - some of the sentences are long, and I used a lot of paretheses. The grammar is as if the narrator was speaking, not writing. I expect you ...

I love the first two lines. Congrats on stepping into the narrative naturally. I know you need to tell the story, but the one thing I couldn't mess with was ...

first off, when i realized what they were going to do, i felt a lump in my throat. my thought (in which i pray i am not repeating anyone, but ...

things i liked- the detached tone, the future tense in the end, the plurality, the language, the secong person. things i was confused about- the reference to the anti-drug campaigns. ...

i love the lazy summer day vibe, and the characters are interesting, but they do seem older. just one thing that really stuck out- do guys say "every fiber in ...

spelling, grammar, and format need work. also you need more reviews. i got the depression bit, but there isn't much to keep a reader locked in. since this is your ...

9/10. well said from a great book

Yay! V. good, I knew you could do it! And it is a bit cliche, but you write well, so it'd be one of those books i'd pick up when ...

Good idea, but kinda hard to gauge from this point. The one problem I see in this is the diary format. It's a cool style, but you're not really pulling ...

Oddly enough I had an idea along this line years ago- a necklace you can't get off- but I never followed through with it. It'll be cool to see where ...

Whoa. Great poem, the edit lyrical and yet powerful, but you can tell it came fromt he orginal. Awesome imagery, especially the personifcation. One note: comma after "greed" in first ...

Good idea, but werewolves are a bit overdone... I'm not quite sure about this, if you're going with a more historical aspect, I think you can't use contractions. Not quite ...

Greatest book my crappy middle school teacher made us read. It almost makes up for her making us read books three reading levels below our grade level. One of the ...

Whoa. The concept reminds me of a book I read years ago, but I don't know what it was called. The details seem surreal- like when you've got a high ...