blackbird12

Now, I am sitting here, crouched in a little ball, surrounded with blood and veins. Normally, the phrase is "surrounded by." Her water finally breaks out . "Out" is unnecessary ...

I also enjoyed reading this very much. Sounds like there's a poet inside you waiting to come out! I must agree with what was said earlier about rhyme schemes. It ...

Hey there! Much was covered in the previous critique, but I do have a few quibbles of my own. I'll get right to it. Some mechanism in his mind had ...

Overall, I enjoyed this poem. The content is haunting and resonant--I believe that everyone can relate to this idea that you have written here, how we all at one time ...

The Santa Ana winds flay the arid valley. It is far from the silver-lined luxury of Beverly Hills, far from the salty sea air of San Francisco. The smell of ...

Wow, thank you so much! You gave me quite a few high compliments there. It's so encouraging to hear something like that because it's like a little affirmation of my ...

My cane of white clatters against cavities in the concrete and threads through these city streets like my fingers through your scalp on a cool Sunday night. Very nice beginning ...

Nice work, for the most part. I like the second stanza the most. One thing I believe you should watch out for the use of punctuation, in this case commas. ...

The bed was like a battlefield, torn, twisted, desolate. The sheets, wet with sweat and blotted with semen stains, had rolled into tight, sinewy ropes. Pillows had fallen into a ...

I very much enjoyed this poem also. I really like the title--it captured my interest. I also like the flow of this piece, you have some very good word choice ...

Hmmm this poem has a very cynical view of today's society, but it is unfortunately an accurate view. They say that art always somehow reflects the society in which it ...

The sky was a dome, expanding across the land. In the distance, the open water reflected fragments of light, sharp and blinding, like a rippling mirror. Closer inland, the waves ...

The anticipation is so sharp it is like broken glass in Jonah’s mouth. The needle hovers above his arm, stretched flat and bruised. His vein trembles. Closer, closer, yet unbearably ...