bkwrm

This is really good. I can't see any problems that haven't been mentioned, so I'll just say that I think you've written a really poignant piece. Keep writing, Bkwrm

Thanks for your crits :D Sorry about the typing mistakes - can't type well at all. Bavaria exists? :( Why are all the best place names taken? No wonder it ...

The first one's good - it's quite funny. The second one seems kind of ... pointless. When you say 'Your dead' it should be you're as in you are. That's ...

Love it. Can't go into the same detail as I did for the last chapter, but I'm sure you can pick anything up yourself if you just read it through. ...

I like your style. It's very chatty and informal, which helps to engage your reader. The story's good, but I'm afraid that you've made a few mistakes. Felicia, or Fliss ...

Hi newbie! Nice to meet you! This is a really good piece of work, but you've made one or two mistakes - but hey! So do we all! So I'm ...

*It's been ages since I wrote chapter one, but now that chapter two is finally finished, I hope that you enjoy it. :D * Chapter Two “Where is she?!” O’mal ...

I prefer the original poem to the rewrite - somehow the rewrite just seems wrong . Sometimes you feel like you’re so out of place, you wanted a homerun… but ...

I like it - it has the makings of a good book. The major problem you have is that you seem to repeat yourself quite a lot. For example you ...

This is really good. I suppose I'm a little biased though - I can find so few people to agree with me that winter is the most beautiful season. I ...

I like it. Try cutting out the last paragrph altogether - I think it would be better without it. Other than that - great. bkwrm

Your stuff is good and you shouldn't be afraid to post more - how else are you going to improve? But I do think you should try writing this from ...

This is beautiful. I especially like the way you've added the afterward - you could so easily have left it off, but it really completes the piece. There's not really ...

This is good - also it seems very real. When someone close dies, it is the trivial things that really set you off - like the wooden table - so ...

This poem is a really nice expression of faith and the sentiment behind it comes through really well. However, you do need to work on your final stanza - it ...