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bkwrm

  • Fantasy Short Stories Re: Devil's Inquiry

    This is quite good. I think that you may be a little confused about your virtues though. The four you talk about are the cardinal virtues. The heavanly virtues (of ...

    Apr 19, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Friendship (revised)

    Nice choice of style - it's not common to find poems written like that on YWS, so yours stands out. I like it, because even though it says all the ...

    Apr 8, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Picture Perfect

    I like this. I think it reads quite well, though it would be better if you added some punctuation. Well anyway, I think it deserves a star so - *gives ...

    Apr 3, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: A Magpie Rhyme

    It's not really for anything in particular - I've just always been fascinated by magpies and especially the rhyme, so I tried customising it as it were. :) Thanks for ...

    Apr 3, 2008
  • Dramatic Poetry Re: The Ribbon.

    Most of the line by line stuff has been taken care of, but there's just one thing:- Going father up then I shall ever reach. I miss it. I think ...

    Mar 29, 2008
  • Narrative Poetry Re: The Princess and the Bee

    I love the title. I also love the poem and I think it is a credit to you that by the time I'd finished reading I was thinking about how ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Lyric Poetry Re: But You Can't See In

    I read poems becuase they can be beautiful in a way that prose cannot. They sort of capture a feeling and then set it free in words. If that makes ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: A Magpie Rhyme

    The Magpie Rhyme One for sorrow There is only one in lonely and alone - and unshared sorrow is the worst sorrow known. When there’s no one - except you ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Fantasy Novels Re: The Three Queens -Chapter Two

    Ermm... these are the introductory chapters - so that you know who everyone is - which is why my characters aren't really developed yet, but I will definitely try to ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Fanfiction Short Stories Re: Mask

    This was good. I wear a black glittering mask; made of glass. I hide and you seek, your out to hurt me. 1) You're not your 2) I think you've ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Historical Fiction Short Stories Re: Fireworks for the War (Edited)

    This is so great - did you learn about stuff like the switching of socks in school, or did you find it out somewhere else? Well anyway, it works really ...

    Mar 28, 2008
  • Other Poetry Re: Do not Enter

    I like the original version better. I think that you could have done much better - I'm not sure that you've done justice to yourself as a writer in creating ...

    Mar 25, 2008
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Girl in the Window (Edited)

    This is okay, I guess. I agree that the rhyming seems forced, and I think you should drop it - especially as you just change your rhyming scheme for the ...

    Mar 25, 2008
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Killing For Colour (re-make)

    I'm sorry but I don't think that this 're-make' is as good as the original piece. Obviously that one needed work, but this one simply doesn't come across as well. ...

    Mar 25, 2008
  • General Fiction Novels Re: We All Fall Down (Part 1 of 2)

    This is good, but I'm just wondering - in part two are your characters less accepting of the fact that they're going to die? Because Charlotte and Ryan just seem ...

    Mar 25, 2008


Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
— Dr. Seuss