biancarayne

Well a title would definitely be nice to this ;) Very well-written and interesting, although judging by the way it ends there's more to this?? Nothing major needs to be ...

I like this a lot. I love the line about "cigarette finger tips." I was a little worried when you started with "coal black eyes," though. I was like ugh, ...

Coal black eyes shift (like the headlights of a car breaking the sound barrier) That, combined with cigarette fingertips, burns holes in my heart. You are my hangover from last ...

The forest is always a busy place. To the casual observer, (especially if they are human) It is almost always silent. But, to its inhabitants it is a teeming I'm ...

This is a very strong and evocative piece, very well written! There's a strong narrative drive and the voice is excellent. Some spelling mistakes, and the situation with the boy ...

I’ve been sent on a mission. I am of no religion, of no cult, of no club, of no family, of no race, of no age. I’ve been sent on ...

This was more humorous than sad, which was odd seeing as to how the girl in the story broke up with Paul...but somehow instead of that being like not right ...

The day before I lost my innocence, a crisp breeze ruffled the bleeding leaves that crowned the trees in a kind of a hoarse whisper. The swing I was on ...

Very, very interesting for sure. I don't know anything about plays so I can't really give a good critique. Although some of the scenes did seem kind of unrealistic...but I ...

It’s the way songs just touch you in a way you thought was just out of reach. Mebbe you can do something about the repetition of "way" here. The words ...

There he stood, tall, slim, but in his own way, handsome. But in his own...that part kind of implies that you're saying other people might not think much of him ...

Mmkay, so it is way too rushed to really be able to enjoy anything. The characters and dialogue could definitely use some spicing up, and you definitely tell way too ...

My chemicals are as faulty as bloodletting, or the wiring of a firefly, Saharan-monologue as far flung as the Universe, inadequate as Earth, a spinning apple core on a blanket, ...

Yeah, like Griffinkeeper said, uncapitalize the title... “No! She is my daughter and I am her mother! I have a right to be with her! Besides you are so wrapped ...

Hey all! Mmkay, sooo...I have a story called Chasing the White Dragon which is receiving few comments and I've asked once before and it still hasn't received any since I ...