biancarayne

hmm...i know i can do something more to make this better

I see nothing wrong with you...other than the fact that you don't write poetry...however, I will put up with thatt fault and learn to look past your obvious faultiness if ...

The same can be said for you as for me- originality has never existed, merely different forms of the same ideas repeated again and again, for the amusement of the ...

This is a very nice poem, and the imagery that it creates is magical and exciting and fun. However, I thought that perhaps this piece might be better without the ...

This definitey has a lot of potential in it waiting to be tapped. To me, the questions you asked at the beginning aren't necessary and just irk the reader before ...

I like how this shows how two-faced people (especially some girls) can be...the dialogue was most definitely interesting and engaging. I felt as though there could have been more detail ...

This is definitey a very unique write about two people who at the start seem to be different, with their separate philosophies, and yet somehow they became attracted and in ...

My breath fogs up the window, shape of a moth-wing, with artificial lights interrupting my brief spiral of unrepentant joy. This is the Autobahn, heavily trafficked by extraneous ideas that ...

This sounded more like lyrics again which I'm pretty sure it was...if it was supposed to be a poem though, more poetic devises like metaphors or whatever would definitely had ...

Sooo this does sound more like lyrics than a poem though that might not have been your intent. Anyways, the only thing I find were a few minor grammatical errors, ...

thanks to all who have commented so far!

thanks to everyone that's commented so far!

It was good. But I didn't get it! What did it mean? Was it from the Middle East of or something? Maybe you can explain it better in the poem. ...

Hmcreamcomplane. Sounds nice! :D Very pretty. -ST thank ya for the comment!

What's E'in Sof mean? Something Egyptian? I have yet to know what makes a good poem myself, as I cannot write stuff that seems to follow those guidelines. Thus, I ...