biancarayne

crimsom...spelled crimson I think. Betrayl should be betrayal. Other than that, this was nicely spooky with some very nice imagery. However, I do think that some of the words you ...

This is definitely a very interesting idea, and you've already thrown in some nice foreshadowing which promises more interesting developments to come. However, there were quite a few grammatical and ...

Johnny returned from vacation one day, extolling the virtues of some enigmatic white dragon that he had chased. He was always chasing something, whether it was a beer keg or ...

In my opinion, this poem was drowning in description and left me for no room to feel anything. It came off as wordy and packed full of images, rather than ...

Rhyming, I think, is hard to do without seeming too cutesy, too cat-in-the-hatty, ya know? I don't think rhyming really worked with this either. It seemed to take away a ...

I think you might have given a little too much history...I mean, the history is good and everything, but somehow incorporate it into the story as dialogue or something so ...

I am infinitely blue, a watercolored sky, lips of sun eager to kiss your purple mountains that roll away, like a billow of smoke in the sun, left with Appalachian ...

People in the city every , were so grateful, but it was a large amount of grief that kept their joy at bay. ?? Was the city called Every, or ...

Mkay, so there were just a few minor typos in this but nothin too seriously was actually a very well-written poem, and definitely a joy to read! However...why were the ...

An entrance was carved out of the solid stone face and the two large doors meant to cover it lay defeated on the ground. I'm not sure defeated is really ...

Personally, I think too many of the ideas in this aren't unique enough...there's a lot of stories out there with mindtalk and bonding ceremonies. What's in this too make it ...

Mkay, so again with the shadow thing lol. Methinks you like shadows and demons... Anyways, first of all I think you need to say what the shadow is, like what ...

I think it was wonderfully descriptive, though perhaps again you could use a more unique way to explain things because as it is it seems to be less of a ...

You say you love me, But they have no value, And you continue to strike. I think maybe you should change the second line to words have no value, because ...

I think if you first figure out if there's a message or not you'll definitely be able to make this even better. If you don't know what you meant by ...