biancarayne

Good story! Well you reviewed mine, just returning the favor. I like it, the dialogue is interesting, reminds me of a story I'm working on. I love how diffrent it ...

Wow. I am not quite sure what to say. I am not going to grammer pick as i was to involved to pick any mistakes out. I can only say ...

Thanks, biancarayne!! I'll take that into consideration. *jots it down* :D your welcome :D and hey, would you mind checkin' out my story chasing the white dragon?? i can give ...

This was pretty good, definitely eerie. I think you could have showed the girl's revulsion to her mother a little better or expanded on it. Also, the dialogue didn't seem ...

I'm not sure what you were supposed to mean by this, as some of the words and phrases made no sense and there was nothing to it other than that- ...

So the punctuation in this could most definitely be improved, because at first like Claudette I thought you ere omitting punctuation but then you have yeah. All in all, this ...

Bathilda's heart beat a little too fast as she rode up the driveway to the High Academy of Sulusia, the most prestigious school in Amandil. Maybe make it more obvious ...

Mmkay, so this was definitely a good write. Me personally I'm never the biggest fan in the world of rhyming so I'm not sure if that part is good or ...

The first thing I noticed was that this is kind of long, and for some people it might be kind of hard to concentrate on reading this well enough to ...

Definitely a very intriguing and interesting story, with a heartrending ending. I'm not sure what to say to improve this, maybe just read it over and over again to yourself ...

Thanks for the comments, people!

Oh yeah you know it!! lol nah but hey... TPBM finds gorey horror movies to be hysterically funny.

Soldiers poured out of every door, guns loaded heading for cars or running after the figure on foot. I think there needs to be some other kind of punctuation in ...

In my opinion, large words like the ones you've used in this, especially the first stanza, are completely unnecessary and take away from more than add to this. But maybe ...

A caffeine induced hallucination, that must be it. Three hours of surveying the swirling patterns on the wooden table, and I finally spot the eye. It’s taken five cups of ...