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bexy89

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: It Was Never Nice Knowing Life

    Hey, I'll start with the really nit-picky bits: Eating disorders, depression, self infliction, and bipolar disorder. I’ve had it all. At least I assume I have. It was never clinical, ...

    Oct 29, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: The Call Girl [1]

    Hi there. Just a couple of nit-picky things first of all: Don’t offer me a fag. I don’t have the time to get lung cancer. I don’t even have time ...

    Oct 29, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Hometown Shame

    Hey, I pretty much agree with everything that the above poster has said in regards to wording, spelling/grammar/punctuation errors etc. I came across another sentence that flows awkwardly: I left ...

    Oct 29, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Removed

    Hi there, just a couple of points: An immature (immature what?) got hold of paints. There were colours he 'd never saw (seen) and shades he had never seen in ...

    Oct 29, 2011

  • Poetry » Other, General
    Re: Misshaped Words Revised

    I like this poem, it's simple but it works, if that makes sense. Very well written. I particularly like the second stanza. However I think 'misshapen' is the right word? ...

    Oct 27, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: GONE

    Hi, I liked this opening to the story, although it didn't give an awful lot away about the storyline but I think it's fairly easy to imagine. It's very well ...

    Oct 27, 2011

  • Short Story » General, General
    Re: Forever mine

    Hiya, First of all, just a couple of nit-picky mistakes: She blew him a silent kiss; as her grey eyes took him in hungrily. The ';' isn't needed there The ...

    Oct 24, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General
    Re: Sparrow and Spaghetti: Chapter 5 part 2

    Hey, I've not read any of your other stuff as of yet but I really liked the way this was written. It was clear and had a definite air of ...

    Oct 24, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: chap 1 Things That Happen

    Hi there, Ok, quite a few points. First of all, there are a number of spelling/grammar/punctuation errors. I wake up to the sunny outside shining in but the frost still ...

    Oct 24, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, General
    Re: Wake up Buttercup

    Hi, I liked the idea of the story and the first few paragraphs flow fairly well. I think there is a possibilty for a little more detail in the description ...

    Oct 24, 2011

  • Novel / Chapter » General, General
    Re: Prologue I (Edited)

    Hi there, A few points really. I am unsure on the writing style you have chosen. To me it reads more like an article rather than the prologue of a ...

    Oct 24, 2011


The first thing I do when I have a good quote is always to put a goat in it. uwu
— Liminality