ballerina13

This is coming along very well. You added more depth to the character and the climax. Where you left off it made me want to read more. I cannot wait ...

Hi! I really enjoy this. I love how you have developed your MC. She has a great foundation. Maybe elaborate on the parents and brother a little more. You describe ...

This is so sad! I want to cry! Okay... well here goes. :arrow: MC Your main character is coming on splendidly. I feel as if I know here. It is ...

I really enjoyed this. I thought that you developed your characters very well, emotionally, that is. I feel though that you could have given more description of you MC and ...

I found this story intriguing. I feel that you described what was happening very well. I could see the ghetto and the tiny apartment quite clearly. I have one suggestion ...

Wow! This was wonderful! Amazing composition and depth. I loved how you went through the stages of life, facing the past and worrying over the future is what everyone goes ...

I loved a birdbath riding a motorcycle because I'm cool like that.

Banned for not being a Dark Knight fan!

This was good. I found that it has a lot of emotion and depth within it. Great job there. This poem creates a picture for me. I can see the ...

I found this very fast paced and rushed. It was also very short but that is alright. You could add some more detail such as what does the mansion look ...

:D I found this very interesting. I am left wondering what time period this is in though. I think maybe in the time period of Jane Austen or even in ...

This was very well written. The message came across beautifully. It had great imagery and depth. I felt as if I knew Mary right from the beginning. I really enjoyed ...

Banned for only being apart of YWS for a few days!

:elephant: In my opinion I believe that you should most definitely continue pursing this. I was left wanting to read on. The mystery of it all is very well put ...

This was...interesting. The concept was new. You portrayed the character of Kirk well. I feel that you could have described things more though. But besides that it was good.