babymagic18

This was very well written I enjoyed very much reading this. I am almost surprised that I didn't come up with something like this to write about. I think it ...

You used I too many times in your piece and it was a bit long....you might havw wanted to shorten that up a bit before posting it. When things are ...

This needs work. It needs to be broken up into paragraphs and I noticed in the beginning that you are showing not telling and thats like one of the top ...

When James leaves home in hopes to land his dream job of directing in hopes that someday his name will be seen by millions. His dream is put on hold ...

I must say that the title is very catchy it makes the reader want to know all about this princess and her story. When your writing you really want to ...

The first few words just totally pulled me in! way to go. I would really like to read more of your pieces this was a very well written piece. With ...

when writing i find it best when you start the scene with a name that way people can better view the character. It is only helpful. I discovered this after ...

He stood at the alter their families in the pews The double doors opened the wedding party walking down in two's When his bride took his hand and he looked ...

Good but you need to be careful of capitalization it tends to need some work I liked it though. I really can't say anything negative or helpful b/c it would ...

This was good whenever I try to put words together it usually winds up a mess and I have to start over. Yours is well written a little on the ...

It cuts my flesh like broken glass If only, If only, I could find my past Then I would be able to look into the future Possibly make a destiny ...

I won't lie to you none of it flowed and when that happens others don't know what you are tyring to make them see and that can throw them off ...

Although I found this poem good. I dear say beginning and last need to separate and there should be a new start at last. What i'm saying if you don't ...

sorry I didn't understand the poem it just didn't flow in my mind. But I do get how you are trying to send a message to the insecure if i ...

I have never read a piece that describes the wolf the way you do it was dark in my opinion but honestly very good. The ending kind of confused me ...