asxz

I was going to say that it would be because of the increased surface area, then you would have more mercury mixing with the air, and then you would be ...

The 3...2...1... countdown was his flashback of the day before the race, ending where the beginning began. I wrote this story when i was 12, so i might go back ...

I think it was more of "blood makes it a red carpet", but i don't really know. I might go back and expand on it more, which i wasn't planning ...

I plan to write in the adventure section, as i like going into detail and thinking up fight scenes. I also like reading books like this. my favourite colour is ...

so the girl/boy can change into a bird? I think that if that is the case, then you need to explain the transformation a bit, something like: As I felt ...

Look, I'm really sorry to be blunt about this, but that story was really annoying for me. If this is a draft then that's fine, but you need to specify ...

Hi, My name is Asxz,(Or that's the name I use for my inter-netting) I love to read book, I am surrounded by friends who like to read books as well, ...

This is what i entered in the twilight short short story competition. It had to be less than 350 words, and contain the words: Red Carpet Forks A Swan It ...

This was a short story that I wrote, and was looking for some feedback to improve my future writings. All feedback appreciated! 3… I listened to the pounding of my ...

I thought it was a good story! :wink: This is my first proper review, so don't blame me if it sounds harsh, as i picked yours as a good enough ...

very good plot and nice beginning of a story. Only thing to improve on is the Show and Not Tell bit, as i found myself wanting much more description and ...

There is a lot of grammatical errors, and some of the sentences do not make sense: "I walked knew me by name" The ending is a bit hurried and could ...

Yes, this is a very good beginning of a story. the first sentence grabs you and makes you want to read more. I also found this an exciting story, as ...

Thank you Evi, that's helped alot, I'll take that into consideration for my future writings!

When I was writing it, I meant for it to be a prolouge of a book, or the begining of the first chapter, in a dream or something. then they ...