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Hi, I just had a few cioncerns about your story: before devouring it in its dark bowels . I think that the bold words don't sound right. Too much description ...

Hi, apart from some small mistakes pointed out below, it was good. You used great language and excellent descriptions. I could almost picture the scene. I would suggest that you ...

My science teacher asked me to wirte this essay, because I like to read/write/learn stuff about science! So, I'm looking for general feeback, and overall impressions! Fare Thee well, Gaia... ...

I don't get it... what is the narrator, and why do we need to know about Helena in the beginning? You also ask heaps of questions that science can answer, ...

Done... some more please. I have hockey trials tomorrow, so I mighty be doing them early tuesday/late afternoon tuesday

Sorry pippiedooda, I was half way through my review, and then I got sidetracked... dinner and such. She did not look like Esmerald- she hadn’t expected to. After all, Esmerald ...

Okay... I'm really sorry! You asked me to review... but you did so well that I was sucked into the story too much to find any mistakes. This might not ...

OMG! Make this a book... and I will buy it! Seriously... I don't care if I've already read it! Great work!

Sorry.... I'm dropping out. I forgot about the storybook, then I got lost in the first couple of pages... Sorry guys!

Okay... I got that she comitted suicide, but how... I liked your use of repetition though... The laughing. I'm not very giood at poetry though, and I thought that the ...

Creeping through the shadows, the thief made his not so great entrance. [here you say entrance, and then you reveal that he is outside... you could try and clarify this] ...

Okay, you asked me to review, but I couldn't find much here. My only improvement would be this : She settled herself down to the steady plink [Notice the italics] ...

OKay... sorry! I wasn't exactly meaning blood and guts literally. I meant it as an action type of thing! Sorry!

Hi, Sorry I took so long! First... I think you have to be 13 to use this site. I'm pretty sure that that is the minnimum age. But I suppose ...

Okay, sorry guys. I went away for the weekend. I'll be done in 12 hours hopefully!