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haha! that was funny! keep writing!

Everyone is different, so everyone's characters should be too! Anyways.,.. if you start off wioth a cliched plot, then you can add in a neat twist at the end!

huh... that's a cool label... I might join you! (Jokes!)

Okay... back for round two! He scoffs and she regrets the question almost immediately. She thinks: we should already be there. She thinks: it never takes me this long to ...

Hello. review as requested! He doesn’t say anything at first. He just examines her for a minute. She is no longer holding his hand. He says: -Angela. Just listen… -What? ...

Next please!

Okay... just one thing I noticed... how old is declan? Older or younger? Also, I don'tthink that you mentionsed anythign about what she does for work here eiother... It's been ...

Hmmm... I think that you have a good poem here. I think that you have a bit of a weird ending though. The repetition of 'old' doesn't fit there. I ...

Hi! Thanks for the PM! :arrow: First of all, this sentence caught me out: An old lady lowered her gaze and tightened her hold on her bag as I passed ...

Okay, just a quick one here - because of your quick prologue! :arrow: Okay... first of all, you have long sentences in the beginning... when you describe why you might ...

OKay, that was good! I think that that cleared a lot up for me! I'll try and use that when I write from now on! Thank you Evi!

Hi, first, I would like to say that you have a wonderful piece of writing here! Nice work! but the flicker flicked it off. Try and not use 'flick' twice ...

Come on... keep 'em going

Wow, just to point this out - it's a bit long. Story's like this seem intimidating to the reader, you might want to break it up into two parts, or ...

Hey, I see most of the nit-picks are already done. I like the view-point that you have. It makes the entire thing seem like an experience that no-one can quite ...