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Okay, back for review No. 2! First of all, some general comments as I read through... :arrow: You over-do the description in the first couple of paragraphs, just a little ...

Okay... I'm back! Characters: You say that Tristan is a boy... I really had no idea! You need to make it obvious, spout some names of his friends, or, if ...

I just copy/paste stuff while I'm reading the piece, and then I'll add comments and general stuff at the beginning... I tend to put too much grammar stuff in, and ...

Okay, I'd like to join... I haven't read the book, But I've reserved it from the library. Can I reserve a place, and then I'll start soon... I might be ...

[ANDRE GREYSMITH] The park was empty. No-one played, laughed, cried or chased young children around. It was amazing how the virus effected everyone, so little into the time since it ...

Yes please... I'll have a double point hamburger with fries and a 'shake... hod the pickles!

Cool, I see whitetiger93 is going to meet you at the hospital, I'll make a random city up and meet you there... i think Andre might do some volunteer work ...

Okay. Well, it looks like you have the grammar covered by Pippiedooda and Dreamwalker, so I'll skip that and try to give you the best review I can on your ...

[ANDRE GREYSMITH] As the town he grew up in passed by in a blur, his fate grew on him more and more. I'm moving. He would never see his friends ...

Yeah, I've read Anthony Horowitz. Him and Scott Westerfeld are great authors. I've reserved the hunger games from my local library, and it seems good. What actually defines 'established critical ...

No... I'm not amreican... it's the 13th of April 1994

Lizifer, can Andre and Emma be friends... just friends

Okay, I'm joining! Profile~ Name: Andre Greysmith Age: 14 Gender: Male Birthday: 13/4/1994 Personality: Kind of emo, but pretends to behappy and laughs at friends jokes Appearance: Background: His fat

[Steve sanders] "That's it!" I yelled in an angry tone. Those stupid girls have pulled the last straw! we couldn't let the just waltz in like that and steal out ...

Yes... remember, you can start this anywhere! just like Whitetiger93 did, you can start it on the day that coliacs' changed their life! Oh, and my character is up for ...