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I'm sorry for bumping, but because this desperately needs some help, I'll give a free review to the latest piece of work of the first two people to review this! ...

Goodness! you make my prologue look like a 3rd grade simple sentence book. It was very well written and produces a moderate amount of suspense. The cliffhanger was not cliche ...

Hi, could you please take a look at: many thanks! ありがとございます

Please review... I'm thinking that this chapter needs a lot of work!

I liked it; it was very good for a thirteen year old! I'm only 14, but I've already learn so much off of this site in less than a year! ...

Thanks! I think I'll change it around. great to hear you liked it, just wondering what you think I should take out? Should I make the detail more vague, or ...

Hey YWS-ers. Just to let all of you know that part 2 of chapter 1 is also up. even if you just post a thumbs up there to let me ...

Okay, this is part two of chap. 1. This is set in the present, and the part 1 was set in the past... if you have any hints on how ...

I don't get what's happening. I mean, I did, towards the end, but the beginning should tell me something that has happened. I like your descriptions, though. You can defiantly ...

Hmmm... I don't get what's going on. You say you had it all, when you were kids, but then you basically say that you marry, or become bf/gf in the ...

He Outofthebox! I like your poem, but there are a few things that bother me about it: No. 1: The flow at the beginning isn't very good. I'm not too ...

Hmmm... I'm sorry to tell you that the deadline has been reached and the results are in. However, I will give you a few pointers. It was a little short. ...

I'm going to have the first part of every chapter about his life when he was training, and the rest (a much longer section) about him in the real world, ...

Thanks Lauren 2010, and if anyone wants to read the next installment; Chapter 1, part 1, then you can access it at this link: P.S: It's about his childhood... feedback ...

No, sorry. I don't know who that guy is. But thanks for the review. I would like to point out though, that that the while point of the first line ...