aspiringauthor17

On the sixth line, I think you should take out the word "really", so the line would read, "How much it gets to me". I really like this poem, and ...

On the fifth line, I think it would sound better if you would take out the word "really". The second time the girl speaks, I don't understand how the sixth ...

As Persephonia said, the imagery was extremely nice. I love the way the poetry flowed- you're a natural writer! I also extremely love your ending. At first when I read ...

On the fourth line, do you mean to say, "Of a time when I was whole"? In the twelfth line, I would reduce the number of syllables or change the ...

At the beginning of each line, try to use capitalization. Grammar is not essential, as a good writer does not need it, but it increases the desired effect. I wold ...

First of all, I'd like to tell you that it's great to write on such high levels when one is so young! It's shows much enthusiasm and excitement for writing. ...

I really like your poem, mostly because it expresses the ability to achieve! Keep on writing! ~Lindsay

I don't like how the last two lines are repetitive, maybe you could cut it down to just one. One a brighter note, I really like the poem and hope ...

On the 12th line, you spelled relief wrong. There should be a question mark after "What's it like to be at the bottom" and after "Failure" a few lines down. ...

Thanks everyone for your comments. The reviews were very helpful, thanks for checking out my works. :) ~Lindsay

Unraveling You lifted my chains, You set me free. Allowed me to live, Granted me permission to sing, You gave me the key. Now that I have been freed, I ...

In the first paragraph, I think you should say, "Really, I truly believe" In the second paragraph, I think you should say, "Hell, the very memory still does." I really ...

Europe Before and After the Age of Discovery Before the Age of Discovery, Europe considered itself the only world power. They had no idea of the other lands that lay ...

In the second sentence, try "But the words were there, in black and white" Joining the pirates seems a little farfetched, since the story takes place at sea, maybe the ...

I like the part with Georgia in the a.m., but maybe you could try "Trying to gently pry her from my leg" as that seems more accurate than "remove". On ...