ashleylee

Out of Focus I decided to post this because I think I have just finished reading one of the BEST books ever. This story was rich in emotion and real-life ...

Amniba : I know. Flaws, imperfections, all that jazz is something I need to work on. I promise that I will add stuff like that. I am working on the ...

Well, this chapter seemed to have less mistakes. You seemed to have caught them all before I got here. :wink: But I still did catch a few… He was very ...

Okay, I felt that the flow was very nice. Smooth and easy to follow :D I did notice a few things, though: It was excruciatingly painful to know that instead ...

Good. This chapter flowed much better. Not as confusing. Not as fast-paced. I really like the Goshen character. He seems like a fatherly-figure. One that Sera can trust. He’s a ...

Kels— This was decent. I remember reading it and it’s pretty good, but I kind lost interest a few times. :? Sorry, I don’t mean to be harsh, but there ...

Kelsey, you can’t do this to me!!!! You can’t just end it like that and expect me to just stop reading! Post more as soon as you can! Pronto! Well, ...

I actually liked the length on this one. It kept me reading and it wasn’t unbearably long that I skipped sections. I read every word. But I do think you ...

Again, much better than the previous chapters. It seems that you are gaining momentum with this story. It seems to be coming much easier to you than before. Which is ...

Wow, this chapter was teeming with emotion and thoughts. I felt connected to your MC this time. I knew her better than any of the other chapters. Wonderful work, Kels ...

Again, I only noticed on thing: Then the day drew to an abrupt end when I heard a sound, and looked up. Comma after “Then” Other than that, I felt ...

Hey, you brought the date/place/happenings back! Me like! :wink: Also, I love the ending of this chapter. I’m not sure why, but it has such emotion pouring from it at ...

The first thing I noticed about this chapter is that you didn’t use the place/date/happenings in this chapter. How come?? I enjoyed that part. It was easier to follow. But ...

Kels, good, as you should already know. I did notice that when you spell the word “Judgment” you spell it with an “e”. I’m not sure if you did that ...

Okay, Night. I decided to read something else by you since I like your work and this caught my eye. I really like stories set in with knights and princesses ...