ashleylee

It's kind of wierd at the end how he says he wants to keep her as if she was a stray puppy he found on the street and brought it ...

Okay, I think you have a really solid beginning right now. Me personally like suspenseful beginnings and this was a VERY suspenseful one. Also, the age thing is kind of ...

Okay, I'm sorry but the grammer was too hard to read through. Once you fix that maybe more people will read it. Also, I think you have a pretty good ...

I decided to continue after a really long waiting and depating period. Hopefully this is better! ** Edited Version ** Happy Reading :D _________________________________________________________________

Great! You actually put this on here kels! As I've already read this when you printed it our for me at school (remember the printer incident! lol) and I've told ...

CHAPTER TWO The two boys arrived at the middle school with three minutes to spare. They raced out onto the diamond to greet a group of thirteen boys, all dressed ...

It was a pretty good ending but I think if there was anything you could fix, it would be including Brittney more in Emily's diary entries. She was her best ...

Oooohhh, I like the ending there! "Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. My mom's coming home." Nice job. That will definitely keep the reader wanting more.

Okay, here I am and I just read the first "I think I'm in Love" and now I just finished this one. I think you have a good story coming ...

Hey, I think you did a really good job of writing this for being a guy. I mean, and take this from a girl's perspective, that I think you didn't ...

Thanks mikedb1492, I see that now. I guess at first I thought it could be stationed in like now but then I read the part about being a witch and ...

WOW is all I really can say...I mean this was the first poem i've read so far that I could actually picture the main character in such detail. I agree ...

This was very nicely written. I can definitely see this published somewhere or a beginning to a chapter in a novel. It wasn't overly long or too detailed and it ...

I don't really understand what time this is taking place in...maybe you could be clearer on that but otherwise i think you should continue seems like you have a nice ...

this is something I wrote a really REALLY long time ago. I gave up and now I think it has some potential. PM me if you think it's something I ...