ashleylee

This was so sad :( But before I give you my opinion, I will show you some things I noticed in your story. I noticed she was had a beaded ...

I really enjoyed this prologue as well. But, I must say that it was too short for my taste. I really would have loved to find out who this compassionate ...

I'm back! Oooo, very good! :D I love scary stories like this! First, however, I must start with the things I noticed: The fire crackled sharply and cast red shadows ...

Okay, I know this is horrible but I can't read your story right now. I read the first three paragraphs and you caught my attention right away...but I can't finish. ...

Again, very VERY good. I agree with RandomGrrl that bringing Zoe in but from Daniel's point of view was a nice touch. Well, since I have posted on all of ...

Hey, thanks for telling me that you posted more.... *sighs, feeling hurt that you forgot to PM her* But yes, of course, I think this story is getting better and ...

Hello, I've been working on correcting your story for awhile and finally got done so...here I am posting it! :wink: All I did was copy/paste it and then did all ...

hello, I usually stay away from R rated things as well but I don't think this was graphic as some others I have read. Actually, I don't think this was ...

Both to KJ and Esme: Yes, I will try to finish this. It's just that it is getting harder and harder the farther I go. This weekend (if I get ...

Hello everyone, Just a heads up, I really REALLY struggled with this chapter. You will get what I mean as you read, so harsh critiques are needed. Well, hope you ...

Oh, that makes me sad :( But, I guess, every writer gets stuck and eventually grows bored with certain projects. It happens to the best of us! lol Well, maybe ...

Thanks, It's just that I have struggled with this story for SO long. But, I really do appreciate all your critiques. A writer needs good critisism to improve! :D

Hey Esme, I really, REALLY liked this! :D I agree with bittersweet, that I have always wondered what a child vampire would be like. And you did it beautifully. It's ...

Esme: Thanks again for staying up late to critique this. If you are super tired, I send my apologies and a cup of hot coffee to awaken you! :wink: lol ...

Here's Chapter Four! :D Hope you all enjoy it! **REWRITTEN VERSION** _____________________________________________________________________________________ CHAPTER FOUR The ride is extremely tense; at