aquila

Thanks for the suggetions! You can probably tell I'm really bad at editing my own work... anyway thanks again!

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This is a really interesting start. Not all the parts were completely clear (where they are, who they are battling, etc.) but I'm guessing you're planning on explaining that later ...

Keep posting! There was one thing I had a question about- who is Christoph, how does he know Cornelia? Is she his mother? You mentioned his father, who had been ...

This was interesting. Some things I would change: The prologue- Is it a newspaper article? It seemed to have hard to read spacing. Dialogue- Kind of difficult to read. I ...

:)I like it! It was fun to read and similar to Twilight. All I noticed was that a few of the facts from Twilight were wrong (like Meep mentioned, Alice ...

I really liked this. The one thing I would change would be to make the last piece that Abigial says into two sentences. Other than that, I loved it! :D

Edited! Hopefully this is a bit better! 　

Wow, this is totally different and interesting. Is this an entire chapter? It seems a litte short, but other than that, it's great. Intriguing and unique. Post more! :D