antimelrose

Hello! Welcome to YWS! I'd like to begin by saying you have a knack for descriptions. As I read it felt very tangible, as if I truly was there. That ...

Hello! I agree with the others that the meter and the choice of words is quite nice. There are one or two places that feel slightly wooden, but a little ...

This was an interesting piece of work, and my qualms about it are few. The first is just plain subjective: I don't think that "Friend" in the first stanza needs ...

Hello! This poem, overall, was decent. The first two stanzas were the weakest (in my opinion), but the latter two were much stronger. I liked the message as well as ...

This was very good. I loved all the descriptions, and you did particularly well with the lines regarding the sounds of Bedouin life. Everything was so easy and fresh to ...

Thanks for your reviews! Sorry about the confusion. Yeah, I was having trouble deciding where to put the poem, since it describes (my) feelings and tells a story at the ...

Well, it's unconventional for a poem. There's a handful of rough spots, but overall I like it. The setting is interesting, and you convey the sense of urgency quite nicely. ...

All right, I'm not a huge fan of romantic poetry, so I'll be honest: this didn't particularly wow me. It had some okay moments, but the whole head–over–heels/infatuation beyond belief ...

edited

There is a lonely quality to "hispaniola", and your interpretation of current events haunting; frangible, even. The second stanza leaves unsettling images in the mind; for me, the words "bleeding" ...

Hello! Yes, as Nate said, your choice of punctuation/font is a little messy, and it does detract a bit from an otherwise interesting poem. There are places where a comma ...

Hello Juniper! You do quite beautifully with vocabulary and descriptions. However, when it came to stitching them together for the poem, some things held together; other parts unraveled. I love ...

For one thing, most people don't read short stories unless it's required reading in a textbook, or maybe someone subscribes to a writing magazine. Short stories are much harder to ...

Suicide is illegal because it is murder–self murder, that is. I'm interested in hearing someone argue that only killing other people counts as murder. I also find it curious/absurd that ...

Hello! I just joined myself a few days ago. Dickens, Vonnegut, and Tolkien are all fantastic, with that I concur. And nature! I can't say I'm fond of hiking like ...