ankhirke

Esme, have points! Thank you so much for the line by line, the awkward phrasings are exactly what i need to know about. Maris was indeed married to Lewis, though ...

I don't think the problem with the beginning is in the prose itself. Both versions are very well written. However, it's a bit lofty to start off with philosophical musings ...

Thanks aszecsei! (er... how do you pronunciate that?) I've gotten several comments on the lack of description in the first chapter. In the first draft, there was a big chunk ...