ankhirke

Hey, winie. Just to let you know, we usually like you to post two reviews to other people's works before posting your own stuff. It's great that you're posting your ...

okay, I couldn't quite get through all of this, and for one simple reason: The dialogue tags. Oh my god, the tags. You need to cut down on them, MAJORLY. ...

of course, any of these could be original depending on what you did with them. But you'd have to decide exactly what they are in your world. For example - ...

Bickazer, tactile/kinesthetic magic is a wonderful idea, though, of course, as with most things, it has been used before. Avatar the Last Airbender immediately comes to mind (complete with Dragon ...

Couple things. Seventeen-year-old Marcella Beauregard is obnoxious, antisocial and sarcastic – and she likes it that way. Because while her teachers and classmates are busy hating her, they can’t

Thunderdude, a comment. And forgive me if I'm being too forward, but I'm a world builder at heart so questions about magic systems come to me naturally. When they cast ...

Magic systems in good fantasy tend to be well thought out. But the most important thing about magic in any setting is consistency. If you set down a magical law ...

What is the purpose of making the girl from our world? Why should she be transported through the mirror? How does her abuse play into the theme or the ending? ...

Thing I always think about with plot is starting from the end. You have the end - he finds the outlaws, but they reject him. Now, what has to happen ...

Mmkay, I'm going to make some major critiques here, because you asked for it. I just want to know that I'm not preaching to a wall, so if you want ...

Wonderful as always, Angel. Some small things, which I think Ashleylee took care of beautifully. The major concern, for me, is that it seems like everything is happening so fast. ...

I've been reading, and I've just got one or two comments on plot and character development. For the most part, your characters don't have motivations. Sure, Molly wants to NOT ...

Oh, Paolini. So young, so naive. Honestly, i hate it when people bring up Paolini's age. There are writers on here younger and better than he. Bottom line is: he ...

That really sucks. And it may be illegal; start looking at your options. Do you have an agent? Or they pick you up directly? And next time you speak to ...

Heyo! Been reading what you have up so far, and it's certainly not bad. Needs a fair bit of improvement, especially with description and character. Plot's great, though it doesn't ...