ankhirke

That's a little better, but I'm still not clear on the main focus of the book. Here's an exercise that may help us, and will definitely help you: the first ...

I agree with Kylan. there isn't really a lot of information about plot here - just a couple of hooks and character names that have been used elsewhere. What's the ...

Okay, so for my current project (a sequel to my novel-in-editing) one of the main plotlines is that my MC is learning magic. Now, I want to show some of ...

Ah editing. How we love to hate you. Some really good tips here, Seraphina - and ones that too often get overlooked. Finishing it is really the main part. I ...

Reading. A lot. Seriously, it's become so I can't even get through a book without thinking - "oooh, and what if Character A was this instead of that, and Character ...

My comments are in bold following each paragraph There once was a young girl that lived in a world called Threa. Threa was a very large and beautiful world. There ...

Amazing work. The character interaction was so completely well done - it's all very subtle, very jane austen, as others have mentioned. You've captured the language perfectly as well, and ...

I think Jabber covered most of it. You can't always expect a reader to read a prologue before jumping into the text proper - I know at least one person ...

Amazing work. This is excellently written - the descriptions are absolutely beautiful. You capture the MC's emotions very well. One thing I will say is that as I began to ...

I don't usually like about, but I read this article somewhere else a while ago, and I think it's pretty accurate. The especially important one, at least to me in ...

Yes. Just. Yes. I love that site, and it _is_ addicting, and it will make you realize everything about your plots that you didn't want to know. It'll also ruin ...

i'll agree with what others have said: this sounds very intriguing, though, at this point, the focus/theme seems rather split. my main problem is with the disappearing epidemic. As others ...

I agree with the point about relevance. I think that if you ask yourself why you're describing the room, it'll be a lot easier to write a description that doesn't ...

Not bad. Starts a little slow, but then there's a nice bit of action to make up for it. The battle scene was engaging enough- but it feels like it ...

Epic of Gilgamesh? It's all about Gil trying to find immortality. And as far as not reusing anything - I find it a lot easier to borrow and twist. Nothing ...