ankhirke

Okay, I’ve gotten nearly halfway through - almost to chapter ten, and I was wanting to bring up some of the recurrent issues that I’m seeing, because it’s going to ...

Forgive me for the obvious answer, but I'm going to say it anyways: It depends. It's much like asking if third or first or second person is a good idea. ...

I wouldn't get too caught up in EVERY detail of your world. But you probably should find equivalents for everyday things that will be used often. It doesn't even have ...

Hey, I've downloaded the file, and I'm looking forward to critiquing it, but I was wondering if you could give a summary or blurb about what it's about? I just ...

You can search by ethnicity, first letter, gender, meaning, and related names. Is fun!

This was really cool. Short, chopped sentences captured the mentality and youth of the MC very well, as well as managing to make this super creepy. For the first half, ...

Hmmm.... I agree with fortuna. You need to cut this up and look over it, 'cause there were quite a few spelling/grammar mistakes. And part of that is the voice ...

There's not much to critique about this piece - it was very good! You've got a very traditional voice and style that evokes fairy tales, though I think it could ...

Oh solipsism. Read about it: It's kind of a demented form of self-centered exisentialist idealist monism. A certain anime immediately comes to mind: the Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruka. Definitely an ...

A well-written piece, but I am fascinated by the fact that you think this is sparse description. Your first paragraph is pure description (and I tend to dislike Setting starters, ...

Interesting premise, very nice structure with the three princess types. The descriptions of the three are all very well written, and you've got some nice allusions in there. The last ...

ah, so there is going to be more of this? I read this thinking that it was a stand-alone piece - which, it almost worked, it really almost did. I ...

Either Owen Meany or Garp. Garp's great if you want to get into a writer's head, but personally, I think Owen Meany is his masterpiece. Book made me cry. Seriously. ...

if they're meant to mirror the nine good characters, it might help to look at the good guys as well. That way you can set up each villain as a ...

I think Thunder and Haruno have gotten most of the nit picks, so I won't go over those again; i'll just give my first impressions. It wasn't badly written - ...