anime-girl13

Really great poem! I loved it! :D One thing I noticed is that you started lines uppercase and some lowercase. It looks like you meant to do that so don't ...

This is really good, and you use some great vocabulary words in there. They make it more... poetic... but it also sometimes confuses the reader. Another thing I noticed is ...

“We, the Council, we are here to train you. I'm not sure, but shouldn't you get rid of the second 'we'? It seems a little repetitive to me and awkward. ...

Hehe! What a twisted story! I like it. What is this a fanfiction of? :) Anyway, I have one grammatical comment, but it should be easy, so no worries! Whenever ...

I could hardly breathe because he was chocking me with my own clothes.

This is really good! I don't think that poems really need a pattern. Poems are a way to get out your scrambled feelings and/or thoughts, so no pattern is needed. ...

Wow... this was really good! Morbid, but, since i like things like that, really good! I didn't find any mistakes that hadn't already been found. Keep up the good work! ...

Ch 6 - Let the Battle Begin It was silent in the office for a few seconds before Ookami and I began laughing nervously. “What are you talking about?” Ookami ...

Ch 5 – A New Life Soul Society I paced in the alley way, waiting for Ookami to come back. I nervously twisted the ring on my finger around and ...

Ch 4 – Death’s Not Like I Thought it Would Be In the end, we didn’t get any fine, upper class food as we had hoped; instead we had to ...

Ch 3 – Blooming Flowers We walked away, satisfied, leaving the samurai collapsed on the ground, still alive, groaning about onryō, which to any other passerby would think them insane. ...

Ch 2 - Quiet Whispers “Izanami! Izanami!” “Oh, be quiet. I’m trying to sleep.” I mumbled, before rolling over. In doing so I hit my head on a… tree? Why ...

Ch 1 – Death at Dawn 825 AD – Heian Period The Heian Period; This period in the history of Nippon began in the year 794 and ended four centuries ...

Prologue 818 AD – Heian Period “Mommy, Mommy! Look at what I found!” An energetic two-year old said, racing into the house, her chin length brown hair waving in the ...