amatuli

The grammar you spoke of was supposed to be edited, my computer refuses to fix it evidently, blah. I apologize for it not making as much sense, I strayed from ...

I will be posting more of this story as soon as I work some of the major bugs; it's looks horrible at the moment. :?

Well at this moment all I can say is it sounds like a good beginning. I hope you write more so I can give you a critique, I want to ...

There was a few things I noticed that were a bit off: 'So he told himself. But even as he walk...' Unfortunately as a rule sentences cannot be started with ...

Thanks a lot, I redid it and added some more things, I hope it sounds better now. :D

Dude this story is so cool, at first I was like, 'Wow how many kids do these people have?' Then I just got stuck in the story, you're a very ...

I'm still working on it, critiques welcomed. Kara woke to darkness, an occasional dripping, and a chill. Suddenly there was a whoosh, and just like that there was a torch ...

The old barn sat on 40 lacres, it leaned to one side, had peeling paint, and toy cars and a fort in one stall. The toys have been there for ...

At this moment there is nothing to negatively critique. My mind is full of beauty, waterfalls, caves, and mountains. This little girl sounds like she has and will again have ...

It curls with the air currents, flickering With the shuddering of failing wings, As it drifts higher into the sky. It touches light, Going so much farther up. I miss ...

I must say that is the most fabulous poem I have read in quite a while. I love it, you have quite a way with words, so many people on ...

I like it, the story so far is running smoothly, there wasn't anything majorly wrong that stood out at me. The characters seem interesting and I definitely want to read ...

It's okay for your poetry to not rhyme. Poetry is about what you feel and things your going through or see and want to express. Beauty, pain and suffering, happiness, ...

Short but sweet, I like that. You have a great way with words and use them well. I can only really say critique wise to just keep on doing what ...

I read it a couple of times just to make sure it did indeed sound as great as it did during the first read through. It's so good. My only ...