afamiliarsmile

I wrote my first story when I was eight years old and it was basically about crime-frighting accordion players! =D

Hello Lydia, Welcome to YWS! I really like where your story is going, but it needs some work. It's a little confusing in the beginning since we are thrown right ...

I closed the door behind me and hoped my brother was a hallucination. “Aren’t you going to say hi to your brother?” “Hi Freddy,” I said. His greasy black curly ...

I love your writing style, it's very unique. There isn't much to critique here, but I can't wait to read more. Nice work!

Hello Dalvor! Great start, you used a lot of imagery which really helped me understand the image you were trying to portray. I suppose everyone has pointed out the few ...

I closed the door behind me and hoped my brother was a hallucination. “Aren’t you going to say hi to your brother?” I heard my father’s voice before he emerged ...

Hello Izzyeyore! Well, I have to say, I'm a sucker for any love story. This was a phenomenal piece beyond it's few words. I enjoyed the showing rather then telling ...

This was very wonderfully written! I didn't know what to expect when I read the title but I enjoyed it a lot! (:

I wasn't purposely bumping my post, it's been here since December! I didn't know if it was terrible or no one saw it, sorry!

No crits? =[

Yes, same! I am hooked, when you write more PM me!

Hello rhie! I have to say, when I usually see a story this long and not spaced out, I hit the back button. This story kept me very interested and ...

Hello Tres*Chic, Wow, very nice piece ! I don't have time to go over grammar but I definitely enjoyed reading it. I'm excited to know what happens next so hurry ...

8/10 Ah, makes me regress back to memories of Rome!

The house has upset my expectations. It seemed almost…cozy. The last detention center I was residing in was on the contrary. The leaky roof and lovely pit-bulls were its only ...