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i liked this a lot. the rhyme scheme is good but you need to work on the rhythm. actually, the only thing i disliked about this was your intro which ...

i really really liked how you trick the reader into thinking it's just a girl with a crush on a guy and it turns out they are in a play ...

hmmm. i wasn't crazy about it. there were a lot of grammar mistakes so you might want to go through and proofread and the story line left a little bit ...

nice job. i really like the message this poem sends (duh). there's this girl in my chorus who is reeeally really pretty and she's a senior and she smokes so ...

how about this: my gag reflex is taking over because this poem sucks. i think that you should burn it; and you will, with any luck. all the besties, ~abby~

hmmm...i wasn't too impressed with this. angels of death? perhaps some more creativity would help... ~abby~

nice poem. i would like to see the rest of it though. you used good imagery and lot's of analogies but what, exactly, do you mean when you say that ...

i really enjoyed your poem. the pattern of each stanza was really quite fascinating and it was very deep. i didn't like the end though. first off, i wouldn't start ...

Thanks for all the suggestions. i changed this a lot so please tell me what you think!!! i still need title suggestions as this one is not very good. Okey ...

nice poem! k, a few suggestions. in the first stanza i might change In the night, under the moon, The stars in the sky shine out and bloom. Fireflies dance ...

nice job! i like the sort of laid back rhyme scheme. the one major piece of advice i have for you is to keep the mid-stanzas the same (the little ...

i really enjoyed reading this post. however, i would like to point out that if you were sticking to shakespearean sonnet guidelines, you might want to rework some of the ...

wow. that was really fascinating. it was a bit confusing at times cause i couldn't figure out who was talking but it was really fun to read once i got ...

i really enjoyed reading this. i really liked the construction of the story. it unfolded nicely--you didn't give away too much information at once and you kept the audience on ...

hmmm...nice idea but i am not so fond of the second stanza, especially the "this is serious..." part. it sounds really cliche and you can't get him out of your ...