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Early morning Monday, The harsh reality of life Emerges from our weekend fantasies, And bites us Hard. Harshly real Monday, Work, work work, While the elastic week Stretches further and ...

ok. my first post was about the beginning of the poem. being the grammar freak that i am, i have to call you on the "why don't it rain...". i ...

this was a little dry and many of the rhymes seemed forced (example: day---may). you have a lot of problems with subject/verb agreement (rain vs. rains). i would go over ...

Welcome to YWS! i didn't get to read the whole story but i liked the first bit. i'm gonna come back later and finish it but so far, nice job!

after reading the first stanza, i thought the rest of them would rhyme too so it was a bit of a surprise when they didn't. i liked the idea of ...

I liked it and it's really good for a first, but you really should try more punctuation and less capitalization. at this point, it's just confusing. I also might suggest ...

I didn't like it very much. It was fine, but it was empty. It seemed like you were going a little over the top. I get writers' block too, but ...

I liked this a lot, but i might change the "If only I had a wish" to "If only i had one wish" or something a little more definite and ...

That was quite good, I thought. The lighting ideas were very well thought out. I especially liked the end with the "Merry Christmas" sign. I have to say, it was ...

i like the idea but the poem itself is so-so. there was a lot of forced rhyme and some parts were really repetitive. you might want to just go through ...

i know this looks long, but it's really not, i promise!!!!! lot's of one word lines :D Imperfect World We all want to be special / But we’re not. We ...

[pre]Imperfect World We all want to be special But we’re not. We all want to succeed But we won’t And we all want Everything we can’t have And we don’t ...

this is just a draft so suggestions would be much appreciated!!! also, i need a better title. this one's a little dry. i was just trying some rhyme stuff cause ...

wooooahhhhh. that was very nicely done. i was really taken aback and impressed by the pattern. it was really cool. to my pleasure, i found no technical problems. there are ...

ok, i'll take out the part about the laptop but NOT the cat. the cat must stay!!! =] thanks for the input though.