Xena

hey id dint say i didnt ike it... your explaintiions releriteredted whatever i said.. now that i have been formed, this is probably a good story with indepth characters and ...

p.s. study the word had. and comma use.

Dylan looked like she had(you dont need that there!) spent the weekend hunting down her own leads in some back-alley, gin joints, which I imagined is exactly what she had ...

Yeah,, id change the beginning too.. it is cliche, especially the line of -the light crept through the blinds- has been done prettty much on every story that strarts out ...

Hey Dave, did I ever tell you about the time I blacked out at my cousin’s 8th birthday party? No? Well it was one of those long, long hot summer ...

THANK YOUUU....you loveable little sock you!.. ps. there are xena ring tones being advertised above me in the banners ... im buying them all

yea i liked it cept for the... end of the world smelling like picture books... kinda.. odd.. like.. the end of the world smells.. like.. toilet paper thats been used ...

i dont know.. i thought they were in a churfch at first.. praying and stuff in pews.. then i thought they were ina city bus.. and then i finally there ...

She glanced over her shoulder, then back at him. “It's almost sunset,” she said as the sun slowly started to melt behind her; turning the sky into a sweet citrus ...

bububub huh.. i dont know.. i tkind of sounds like a childfrens book... for satin babies.. you know what im sayin? its all about hell.. you know.. there's so much ...

thats crazy... and funnny.. funny crazy. so her friends her dolls.. orshes just gettingditched.. ohhhh i just odnt know

you could say... this place gave everybody the creeps when they walked in.. this lets them know that this place is creepy i think its haunted... this lets the reader ...

i didnt get the feeling that that guy was really scared.. like he was just like.. OWE.. you hit mje.. why? becfause.. because why. because youre a bad bad man.. ...

HMMMM suzie..... now i would think this wouljd be just a litle.. oh risque for the thirteen yoruslds right? i dont know if they should be hearing about gushing virginity ...

so it was a deamon? or.. i didnt quite catch it.. i dont get it.. its her sister.. her mother.. her evil step sister.. maybe i getit now.. a renditionof ...