Xena

this was really good. do not touch it. it dost not need fixing... dont listen to anybody. i love it and i think i wanna marry it.

what? this is about baseball? how in the hell did you figure that one out? is... poem about how baseball is always there and you cant get rid of it. ...

first id like to say and ask... do you like that... why do we build castles in the sky song too!? and second... some of the descriptions are great... but ...

hello my name is xena and i shall be your REal reviewer for the day... She looked across to the other table at the group of girls, as They laughed ...

The soldier than growled at me like a dog would I'm not terribly good with 'then' and 'than' but I believe in this instance it should be 'then'. Ignore if ...

hey well i liked this... but does need editing.. like combining the sentences to make it flow more... and i like the statement... the man carried a breivecase.. except its ...

ah written well enough... huh but i dont know whats it about... characters seem cool... so its a ight intro.. and ill assume then the story goes on to bigger ...

ill tell you the second half was alot bette rthen the first... The wind started to blow and the rain pelted my skin like paintballs being shot at me. its ...

Ok im really glad i know her routine when she gets up, but rreally what does it do for me? not a damn thing... and the whole first person thing ...

yes your stuff flows nicely... though there was alot of description of the lady, it still came together clearly. except for the upside down sqaure tattoo thing, did not get ...

yes yes it flows pretty nicely but i really only read the prolughe and some of the story... a little nick nacks and patty wacks here and there but ill ...

yes sir... for starters its ok... for starters as in for starters... you know... nice characterization i guess... they kind of seem flimsy tho... like real weak and not scary... ...

So what actually happened here? I have no idea... these kids make me sick... huh... and i did not like how it wrote verbatem how kids, or atleast these kids ...

oooh this was goood... especially the beginning, nice way of deswcribing you are in a dream, and such, the next paragraph was ok, not as good as the first, good ...

oooh the feel good story of the year! i love these things... i think you could have the girl then have an imaginary friend, like an eliphant cross dresser or ...