WinterGrimm

I feel kind of silly that that was still in there. This play has been perfromed in not one but two of my classes.

His face was down turned, "His face was turned downward," there's not a particular reason for this change. Just the phrase down turned rubs me the wrong way for a ...

I have nothing against description. But you do have to tell a tight story and everything has to have a purpose. In fact I think that this story, if anything, ...

Winter, I'd like you to check out my post when you've got the time. Its 'Chapter 1 of the Regicide'. One of the things we have to bear in mind ...

Here's an interesting theory. The universe is God and we are the universe. In the beginning the universe questioned its existance and came into being. It places a mythology into ...

the little girl with french braids Capitalize French Tyler gave in to his better judgement and began to speak judgment Quietly sipping her raspberry Italian Soda, Madeleine turned her head ...

5. “Did I touch a nerve, Hana?” Jason changed his approach. The specter stood up, dusted off her jeans as a habit, and looked squarely into the shaman’s eyes. “Leave ...

Chapter One critique continues. It was well-paid work, if he was truthful, and the money allowed him to buy enough food despite the famine, because the cities were well stocked, ...

And Charlize Theron. She's going to be Aeon Flux. And while she doesn't look anything like the old animated character she looks soooooooooooo hot in that outfit. ::drooooooooool::

The true importance of religion is not is what is true and not true, but its in looking at what the hidden truth is. All religions must have a grain ...

Yes. I like. Some lines still seem a bit long for the piece. but indentation of some of the smaller lines might give it a good look too. (unfortunanly indentation ...

I was wondering if 'grey' meant 'gray' to us weird folks. It does. I'll add that to my list. 1) civilised, civilized *note Fire is English. He uses a purer ...

Alright. Here' my critique of Chapter One. The night had been chosen well, as it was pitch black, no moon there to disrupt the advantage of darkness. as black as ...

warmed by the splash of light upon the floor cut upon the floor. just warmed by the splash of light its the glistening faery wings of spring as much as ...

...I didn’t make it to my stay room on board for about an hour after departure. Wordy consider revising. And there I stayed for a full sixty minutes. Consider cutting ...