-
Re: To Love
A well constructed and interesting plot line. It had just the right touch of morose longing and it was not overcomplicated. I cannot tell you how great that it. Many ...
Sep 15, 2008 -
Re: The Key to my Diamond Heart
Keep trying. I did not feel particularly attached to any character nor was the plot anything of real value. You didn't give the fiance a name and I think that ...
Sep 15, 2008 -
Re: Through My Binoculars
I think this piece was well inspired and brilliantly portrayed. I couldn't help but think about Alfred Hitchcock's Rear Window while reading this. The characters of both the "boyish man" ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: I Love You
I know you'll never read this. I know that I'll probably never tell you anything I write here. But right now, I find myself in need of a catharsis. Autumn ...
Sep 14, 2008 -
Re: Mixed Signals
You certainly try hard and it shows. This is a rough piece, but it certainly can be great with a little elbow grease and concept work. First, grammar needs to ...
Feb 8, 2008 -
Re: Stupid
I really don't see this as much of anything at all. Rather than being crafted verse, it seems that you were angry with some person or some people and then ...
Feb 8, 2008 -
Re: Our Lost Autumn
The beacons lit, the fire spreads Into the hearts of many. An impossible glow that fills our heads; It's warmth is quite uncanny. The soft and chilling breeze Draws our ...
Feb 7, 2008 -
Re: Rainy Window
Thank you so much for reading and I apologize for that horribly rough draft I put out. I made some revisions, from both my initial poem and reader feedback. Thanks ...
Feb 5, 2008 -
Re: They steal your health...
Let me start off by saying that I like your style and I'm avidly reading your pieces to try and get a better picture of the author behind the words. ...
Feb 5, 2008 -
Re: From Dying to Waking - new version
BRILLIANT! I thought this was an extraordinary piece. You tried something new. You broke out of the chains of punctuation and you forced the reader to think and wonder and ...
Feb 5, 2008 -
Re: Waiting
He waits For life to turn sweet again And the silent somber shadow Of Despair sticks to his thoughts, Which is why He waits She hides Away from his stolid ...
Feb 4, 2008 -
Re: Wing Watcher
What a beautiful poem. Such beautiful sentiments you have assembled here. The whole poem is a tad rough, but the content is great, so it doesn't matter too much. You ...
Feb 4, 2008 -
Re: Rainy Window
I can only hear a soft, sifting melody-- I do not hear the rain. It plays for long and sets me free To hear the quiet song again. Dripping leaves ...
Feb 4, 2008 -
Re: I'd Like To Stay, But It Can't Be This Way
I think the poem works in it's own little way. The last line could be used to explain why the love is not working. That last little ryhme does not ...
Feb 3, 2008 -
Re: Will You?
I'm not going to lie or sugar-coat anything: This needs work. The listing gimmick works for only so much. If you were to use the question list method, you'd need ...
Feb 3, 2008
