Vincent

hi. i liked this story and ill do my best to help you inprove it. the first two paragraphs were info-dump (but dont take it from me, i suck at ...

i actually liked it and didnt find any problems. mabey im just tired... ill try again later and do a in depth torough research to try and find any problems. ...

i liked it! nice in depth meaning! great work vince

nice... i kinda understand it, it isnt confusing. i liked the riming and all great job! vince

strange...yet awesome.... you have great discription and it was lovely to see the trees in their autumn apparel and a beutiful choice of words. i never heard the word apparel ...

i loved the chapter and i cant wait to read the next one! i noticed that you cept repeating phils name. it was like phil...phil...phillip...phil taer... etc. try saying "he" ...

This is an amazing poem. the riming was great and i only noticed it being forced once or twice, even though it camoflaged itself in the formallity of the poem. ...

thanks ink, and...........someguy. i really appreciate your crit, it pointed out stupid mistakes that i made. dang, i REALLY nead to work on info dumping. i suck in that. yeah, ...

beutiful! pretty lights *drools and stares* very cool! vince

These images...are beutifull *sniff* i love these sunset things! :P something that happens everyday but we never take the time to notice... It made me warm inside and out, but ...

i like what you did with the arms, i suck at that. the eyes...tho...se... *is hipnotized yet tottally freaked out by the eyes* nice job! vince

this is nice! it reminds me of my friend who has the same style. i like the first one the best! vince

this is a little something i dug up a while ago. i dont have a title and not much has happened yet. so, COME ON CRITS! TEAR IT APART! there ...

This is a great poem. the only problem is that you seem to repeat words alot. keep it up! vince

This is one of those short but sweet things :) i enjoyed it but you should work on it great job! vince