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Re: Racism
I would just like to raise another point about racism. Racism is still a huge part of our society, but no one ever wants to admit to it. I'll give ...
Dec 30, 2010 -
Re: The truth about teachers
HI there Skins. I like this, it's a fun and amusing piece, I think it would appeal to younger audiences. There are a few things I think you could improve ...
Dec 30, 2010 -
Re: Rise
Hi GildedLily I'm not really sure about this piece. I would like to congratulate you on the originality and interesting structure of this piece. This is rather uplifting piece, my ...
Jul 3, 2010 -
Re: Beyond Themselves
Asher was never meant to be a teacher He was far to open and to kind. He cared to much about his students Shallow teenagers trying to waste their lives. ...
Jul 1, 2010 -
Re: Black Horses
Hi, dreamy155 I like this, it is a very easy, accessible song lyrics, I can almost imagine A tune to them. I like that the lines themselves are very short, ...
Jul 1, 2010 -
Re: Soul?
Hi nova I liked this poem. It had a good story and image to it. There is a little room for improvement though, This is just a little block I ...
May 27, 2010 -
Re: Decorating The Window
I decorated the window With shooting stars. I covered it with glitter To make the time pass. I wrote some song lyrics And stuck that on too. I looked out ...
May 26, 2010 -
Re: Final Jump
Hi kat jackson This was good. I agree with Kaedee when she says her eyes were pulled in all different directions. There is a lot to look at in this ...
May 25, 2010 -
Re: Imagine
Hi Golden Quill Hmm... not quite sure what I think of this. I agree with Snoink when she says there is a lot of imagery and not much else. Although ...
May 25, 2010 -
Re: Tree
Hi Genshawklan. I like this poem. I like the way you structured it so it looks like a tree (Very clever) I also very much like the poem itself. Your ...
May 25, 2010 -
Re: But we were happy
“Next Wednesday I’ll get it sorted out, promise” I was lying through my teeth. I hated lying to my brother but what choice did I have? Come clean? Tell him ...
May 24, 2010 -
Re: What I Now Am
Hi kingolions Nice poem. I'd like to congratulate you on your flow. It's very good and solid and one of the strengths in this poem. The mood of this poem ...
May 24, 2010 -
Re: This is a spring morning
Hi ArahinaSiddel This is a very good poem. You have a lot of skill in describing a scene and making a perfect picture in people's heads. This image on what ...
May 24, 2010 -
Re: Garden flower (and a random eye)
This is very good. The flowers are very drawn. Your a very talented sketcher and at showing the light and shade in the flowers, which is difficult to do. The ...
May 24, 2010 -
Re: Pass the Note
Hi dogs Hmm, I'm not sure what I think of this. In parts these lyrics veer off into being very ordinary love song like, but your use of metaphors and ...
May 24, 2010
