Ventomology

Yo! Buggie here for a review. :) I shall start with the nitpicks. Kaia stared longingly at a paper nailed to a post for the second fourth time. Once you ...

Hello there! I have returned! Anyhow, while I am very thankful that this is a shorter chapter, you may want to decide on a length and keep it somewhat consistent. ...

My word... It seems you've proven me wrong. Your prologue was most definitely a prologue. In any case, this story has me completely rapt! I am quite curious where the ...

Heya! Sorry it took me a few days to get around to this. Onto business: Like the first part of the prologue, this is quite good. Of course, given the ...

Hello there! I'm surprised to see a prologue last so long in the Green Room, though I imagine the quality work has something to do with it. :) Anyways, please ...

My goodness... I certainly wasn't expecting that. Um... I forgot to mention this in the previous part, but you do this funny thing when your narrator gives multiple reasons on ...

Yo! As promised, Buggie has arrived to review! Um... my biggest comment is that you are a little too wordy for your own good. I don't mind fancy words or ...

Hi there! Um... I did read the previous parts, though I didn't review them. (I feel bad reviewing things for plot and style if there's a chance they've been fixed ...

Hello there! I would have reviewed this the day it came out, but I had to go on a trip. Sorry it took me so long. In response to the ...

My sincerest apologies for not getting to this sooner. If I could, I'd bake you cookies. Anyhow, on with the review! 1. You don't really need to separate the bit ...

Good day! Since Pretzel has already taken much of what I was going to say, I hope you don't mind if I take a few of her points and explain ...

Hello there! Just curious, but is this the entire story? If so, then despite its separation of parts, I would have labelled it as a short-story. Going on: there are ...

Hello there! I've returned for chapter 1! First off, I'm not sure labeling the previous part as a "prologue" was correct. If you had skipped a year or so between ...

Hello there! It's not often I see prologues left so long in the Green Room. Please allow me to remedy that for you. (Granted, one of those comments should have ...

Hello there! I know it's a tad late, but welcome to YWS! I've always been a sucker for good mysteries, so this certainly caught my attention. It'll be interesting to ...