Vanadis

I like the lack of capitalization and the way it's broken up. those who hide their fondest fears and darkest memories (shamelessly behind a) I like this: how you took ...

Hello. I'm not really sure how I felt about the poem; I liked the delivery of the idea, but not so much the idea. It wasn't exactly a bad idea. ...

Greetings! One thing that bugged me was the repeated stanza. Those are okay, except your poem was really short, so 50% of it was just repeating itself. If you want ...

Hello! I'd have to agree with what was said before about rhythm and using stronger words. Don't make things sound forced just for the sake of rhyming; figure out what ...

Hello! I have to say I really enjoyed that. The rhythm was great, the rhyme scheme pretty nifty, and the story...well, it reminded me of Valhalla, actually; mostly in stanzas ...

Hello! So really my only beef with this is the rhythm. It seems like you tried to force yourself into rhyming (as has been said above) and you ended up ...

Hi! I'd have to say this is one of the better dark poems I've seen lately. The rhyme scheme is good, your spelling is good, and even though it wasn't ...

I have to say I really enjoyed reading this poem. A unique idea, focusing on the self rather than someone or something else, which lately is all I seem to ...

I liked it. I agree that it was long enough to tell the story and short enough to make it so that it doesn't drag. I also agree that it ...

In all honesty, this poem was very hard to read through. I know you're probably getting tired of it, because every other critique has mentioned this fact, but please, spell ...

Hello! So my first impression of this is that it reads more like a speech than a poem. It's like an agenda. The first stanza seems like it could be ...

This doesn't really seem to jump out at me much. It's got potential, yes; however, it's about where lost dreams go, right? So they go to a place where they ...

Hello. This is a great poem. I don't think I'd change anything. A truth so vague, so fragile And yet it beckons That great black nothing From whence you were ...

Greetings! Some of these were pretty good. Haiku are in a way both the easiest and hardest to write; they've got three lines, so you don't have to have a ...

Greetings, Midnight person! I'm Vanadis, and I notice you're new-ish so I would like to welcome you to YWS. I'm sure you'll find your stay pleasant. So, on to the ...