Vanadis

I like this, Mo; "Colour is the seed of life." That's absolutely true. First of all, I think the lines should be cleaned up a little bit; you can still ...

Hello. I want to preface this by saying I really like it. It's got a sort of whimsical quality to it, and I'm a sort of whimsical person. So nice! ...

Hello there. I want to say that this is a lovely poem. I also started reading the original one, making notes and then found the edit. There's nothing I can ...

Hello! *blinks.* Dear gods! This is lovely! You know, I really like tonight, because your poem is the third in a row that I haven't had any corrective suggestions on; ...

Hellooo! So I liked this. Short, sweet, to the point, yet so full of truth. I saw that Moriah said she can relate to that; I think nearly everyone can ...

Hello, hello! I think everyone already caught any errors that I was going to potentially point out. So, that being said, I enjoyed this immensely. This is mostly because I ...

Hello! You are new-ish! You are new-ish-er than me, so I bid you welcome, and hope you find your stay pleasant, though we've run out of peanuts and there's no ...

Hello there! So, I have to admit that my mind is in the gutter. I saw the title of this poem, "Little Death," and remembered from Comp II "La petite ...

Hello! This was really beautiful and heartfelt; I like these lines: But all of this is means nothing to me, because I know how you used to be, It's good ...

Hello there, Boo! It's beautiful; it's ugly >Ah. Beautiful and ugly: common, garden variety words. So I see that you think love is two-faced, but using such weak, overused words ...

Hello! I have to say I thought this was pretty good. You've got a good start on describing the emotion: the sadness, hopelessness, showing that the love still exists. You ...

Hello! I'm just going to post my comments in a quote for now: The electric purple In his argyle veins >This is cool. It reminds me of when I see ...

Hello Timmy. Welcome to YWS! I hope your stay is pleasant! So on to the poem. It's as June says: it's refreshing that it's not blaming the other person. Your ...

Hi you. I really enjoyed this. I don't think it was too hard to read. The rattling on in some places and the few large-ish words peppered throughout fit marvelously ...

Hello there. I like that you're centering the poem around the pen, and not the girl or her feelings, yet even so you still manage to tell us about her. ...