Vampirewolf3

“Kohan?” I jumped and spun around to face the five year old girl behind me. My heart pounded against my rib cage and my skin itched from the sudden fright. ...

This story is good, but plot and descriptions could be rephrased. How so?

Well, I think that this story should probably be under "Fan Fiction." Also, try considering copyright problems. One more thing, some people might not understand the complicated politics of "Warcraft."

Spelling errors in writing is (pauses to think, then falls asleep). Oh yes, flies. Little, tiny things that are somehow extremely annoying. "So annoying, yet so little!" screamed the frustrated ...

It was soon discovered it was not enough the men and women slaughtered by the demonic strangers. Sort of confusing. Try: It was soon discovered that there were not enough ...

at least you guys have a store, the only thing we had way $2.50 hot chocolate for a fundraiser...of course, they never told us what the fundraiser was for...

i just search the web for music, and most sites have some songs that you can download for free

Info dump....thanks for the "info" "dump" about info dumps.

Thanks for all of the critics that have come to invade my post! :D Did I mention...thanks? Well, even if I did, thanks. P.S. Hunerzero, I changed that little bug.

There was a cow who roamed the plains Who saw many people driving trains One day she wanted to try it And didn’t like it on bit The crazy cow ...

Jazz sat on the docks of Queshek, rapped in a cloak, faking sleep . I don't know. I think "pretending to be asleep" kinda'-sorta' sounds better. The gaurd was a ...

I saw in your first post that the company kidnapped people to play in their amusement park, and that was what I was expecting in the second chapter when I ...

I guess that the first paragraph would be the prologue. The time period is sort of...time-less, but probablyt most like medival.

"Your grandmother made that quilt for you," said my mother. Ever since my grandmother passed away, I had collected all of my memories of her. I remembered all the days ...

Yay! Spruced up is the 2nd revision!