VampireBloodrace

Yay!!!! I re-re-edited! It should be better than before now!

Ok, so i edited what I needed to edit! I hope it's better now! Please keep critiquing me! :D I have a note for artistpersona. VampireBloodrace wrote: “Oh no”, Demeter ...

I edited!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D Hopefully it's better! Tell me if there a re any more mistakes!

I have edited the story and I hope it sounds better now! Thanks to those who critiqued it!!!!! :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D ...

Ok, so. I have only watched the anime series and i'm sorry for any misunderstandings. I'll add to and edit the story. I hope you'll like it after!

I kind of got lost.........some of the lines didn't make much sense, while others were written beautifully. Also, what is freestyle? I guess that it's some sort of rap, but ...

Ok! I edited and got rid of the typing errors!

Ok, so I got rid of some mistakes and put all the commas inside the dialogue! I hope it's better no! :D

Lol :lol: I've heard that before. My friends think the same thing! Idk how to explain it, but it works for me like that. I admit it myself, it is ...

That was very interesting. Good details and I think you did fine with the other characters. I also agree with everyone else, good twist in the ending!