UnderTheGun

Thank you! This was originally written as a very short piece for a prose writing workshop that I'm taking at school, and there was a two page limit, so that's ...

It’s been a year and four months since he came to live with me and he still doesn’t know who I am. He thinks I’m Lynn; she’s been dead for ...

It reads like a diary, which is a good thing until the dialogue begins. I'm not sure that dialogue works for this sort of format, but the overall tone is ...

Ok so I looked at this and it's 4:25 in the morning, too late for me to give you a good review, so I'll be back tomorrow with something really ...

Thanks for not riddling it with unncecessary details. We all know what he looks like after the books and the movies, and if not, there's something called Google, so there ...

Soooooooooo super funny, I really enjoyed it, and like the others said, it had a bit of truth to it, I guess that's why it was so funny.

Cute, but it feels like Breaking Dawn 2.0. Try a different approach. Where do they live? They couldn't possibly have stayed in Forks with Nessie aging so rapidly and with ...

Oh my goodness, this was even better than I though it would be. I don't get why they chose to move so far away, maybe you can clear that up ...

The beginning was a bit confusing for me, so try reading it aloud to yourself tomorrow to catch your mistakes. The best part for me was the ending, those last ...

My first impression after reading the plot summary was that you were rewriting that Miley Cyrus, Nicholas Sparks movie that came out a while ago...judging by the trailer, the plots ...

Hey, thanks for taking my advice, I like the changes that you've made, it's a step in the right direction but your writing still needs work. Remember that they call ...

Great story! As for the writing, it reminds me of something that you'll look at four years from now, and marvel at how much your style has changed and improved ...

This is good, such a cliffhanger, and I'm excited to read more. The comments above are great too, it just still feels a bit rushed to me. Maybe I just ...

Sorry, for some reason I kept thinking the narrator was a man, my mistake. Still really good though, even better the second time. The writing is a bit weak to ...

Thanks, the very first draft of the first four chapters was just...too premature, so in the revision I tried to draw the romance out more, but since the novel is ...