UNiiV3RSALWRiiT3R

He motion for her to sit back down, then Flynn walked over to his work table,picked up his car keys, pulled his jacket back on and was out the door ...

Thanks for the advice everyone. :-) I really appreciate this. Umm Im gonna make this first chapter longer some time tomorrow. Peace.. Y (supposed to be peace one understands that) ...

Well done. Good plot. The only things missing are the descriptive words. It should also be a lil' bit longer, a prologue should be longer. I can tell that your ...

This is good writing. I like the suspense. Anyways. You might want to do 2 reviews before you move any further because those are the rules... Only one question: where ...

Tell me what you think. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- King Maxxwell knelt down to the grubby stone floor, his dead guards laid lifelessly behind

Hey SV... {This is good so far} [I've only read about half of it] -Im just commenting ahead of time- Uhhh I need points-so desperate-

If you are only 13 this is really good work for a 13 year old

Excellent work................well done.....Nothing really wrong

wow this is unique

I really loved this...i will read your others as soon as I can. I dont see anything really seriously wrong with this chapter...well done

I liked it you should fix it up and continue

Good but, it is kind of confusing though. Keep working on it. Well done

Great rhythm but, this should be apoem instead of song lyrics

good pics.....very pretty..i wish i had the talent u do

Really good. The only bad thing is that it took me 20 minutes to read this...break this up....good job anyways