Tusker93

This chapter's quite long as well but in my opinion it's a lot more eventful than Chapter One (or Part 2). I'm grateful for any criticisms and comments as always. ...

I guess they would all be considered as Ninos de Dios slum dwellers. It's bascially meant to be a massive slum with a hell of a lot of different ethnic ...

To Kaiden: Jasmine's ethnicity hasn't actually been identified yet but by her name one might suggest that she could either be from the middle-east or the Indian subcontinent. As for ...

It's titled 'Meggido' and its under 'Other Fiction' though I suppose it leans towards the 'Fantasy' genre. Take your time on reviewing it as I'm in no rush - Thanks ...

Normally, I have a hatred for large amounts of unneeded description which fail to paint a picture effectively. When you said that you think you get rather wordy with description ...

First of all, I'd like to say that I like the idea of the piece and the sort of pace you've used could definitely make it exciting and thrilling. Some ...

Firstly, I really like the style you've employed here - I think it could really force the reader to embrace this character and it would add to the shock horror ...

Chapter 2 Aisha stared in amazement at Jasmine’s blue, satin silk dress. “Jasmine!” At first Aisha was lost for words but she continued, “You can’t come out like this!” Aisha ...

In my opinion this was a successful introduction of the character in that I could really feel how bitter and pessimistic she was about the world and people. The style ...

WARNING: If you plan on reviewing this I would advise reading the previous piece as it provides valuable background information. Also, if you have read the previous piece then it's ...

Hey Tally - I'm really glad you enjoyed reading it and thanks for the encouraging review :). It's good to hear you enjoyed the description because I've always considered description ...

You cannot justify a war if you say you're fighting it simply for democracy. Because it's too obvious that there are ALWAYS more important motives which are not made too ...

I'd like to thank anyone who's taking the time to read this and any criticism, praise, comments and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks again for your time and I ...

Well it's a one off short story which is meant to have a word limit of 1000. Before I submit it I'll probably consider putting in some imagery but I ...

Her screams pierced the air, but only I heard it. Only I truly understood them. For the people physically closest to her, they fell on deaf ears. To them she ...