-
Re: teething on time
Really good!-- though I suggest to tone down the amount of commas in --I am so broken, sometimes, so lost and caught in a sob when I say, “I don’t ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. But didn’t.
Hello! This is really good--only a few minor mistakes: [“Are you okay Paolo?” he said.] --- I think it'll sound better if you used: 'he asked.' Maybe put some emotion ...
Oct 11, 2011 -
Re: Prejudiced Injustice
Hi! I gotta say, this is pretty amazing. Well done on the dialogue. Everything seems to be pretty perfect to me--however I think it would be much better if you ...
Oct 6, 2011 -
Re: Lone wolf
Hi! Your story is really good--I like the way how you write the story through the wolf's perspective, though a little more detail describing what the wolf sees and feels ...
Oct 5, 2011
