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Re: Guilt.
Guilt. Bound by it’s steel shackles; tightening it’s teeth around my neck— the inner pain so wicked, yet I’ve desist to capitulate. I cannot feel. I cannot see. I view ...
Jan 20, 2012 -
Re: Choose
This is beautiful! I just gotta say for - Sorrow, sin and Slavery - , make sure you add the comma after Sin. it looks and sounds better that way. ...
Jan 19, 2012 -
Re: Mask
A simple mask; such little truth I'm filled with many, many lies. The inside of me is buried in debris I'm nothing but a faker a liar a joker outside.
Nov 18, 2011 -
Re: teething on time
Really good!-- though I suggest to tone down the amount of commas in --I am so broken, sometimes, so lost and caught in a sob when I say, “I don’t ...
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: There are no tears
What an amazing piece! You brought me a shivering emotion--this is perfect! Well done, sir! :D
Nov 7, 2011 -
Re: Of Mice and Men Persuasive Essay
Don't worry about the numbers in (), this is for Honors English class and we have to jot down the page numbers. Pay no mind. lol Of Mice and Men ...
Oct 15, 2011 -
Re: Coulda. Shoulda. Woulda. But didn’t.
Hello! This is really good--only a few minor mistakes: [“Are you okay Paolo?” he said.] --- I think it'll sound better if you used: 'he asked.' Maybe put some emotion ...
Oct 11, 2011 -
Re: Prejudiced Injustice
Hi! I gotta say, this is pretty amazing. Well done on the dialogue. Everything seems to be pretty perfect to me--however I think it would be much better if you ...
Oct 6, 2011 -
Re: Lone wolf
Hi! Your story is really good--I like the way how you write the story through the wolf's perspective, though a little more detail describing what the wolf sees and feels ...
Oct 5, 2011 -
Re: noisullI
This is really good; you put a lot of feeling into it which pretty much grabbed me. Good work!
Oct 2, 2011 -
Re: Bach's Lullaby--Ch. 1
I know, I know--I keep editing the story and I'm sorry. BUT, this is probably the final edit--unless I find a few minor mistakes. But basically, this is IT. 1. ...
Oct 1, 2011
