Toto25

Hello, Tory here! I just wanna say that I have never written a poem quite like this one so, constructive criticism would be good. In parts I know it can ...

Fantastically dark and emotional! I loved it! Keep writing. -Tory

word I got was SINGULAR and I thought of LATIN(the language) haha I don't know why. The ghosts of our past haunts and influences our dividing paths. Like a language ...

Hey! I really liked this poem! The only thing I would say is that the vocabulary could use some work. The part about the her lips being the reddest or ...

I look up, all I see is darkness my limbs feel cold, numb, and lifeless. My heart thuds with a sickening slowness. Dread circles my stomach like vultures zoning in ...

Thank you so much for such positive feedback! I have always been nervous about putting my more abstract pieces online, I have actually a whole stack of these type of ...

What if our souls moved in ways we cannot comprehend? Crouching in a dance of our emotions, Collectively writhing to the music of time. Stepping forward and backwards, And from ...

WOoaah! You can paint a picture! "clicks like" I love the imagery, I thought you brought something new to an age old way of describing situations. "The girl or girl" ...

I thought this poem was very moving. It showed how we as people can be manipulated like the toy soldier. How we lie to ourselves by believing we have control. ...

Thanks for the review! :) I will definitely try what you guys are suggesting.

One suggestion that I may add is to separate the piece into stanza's, I've found that by doing that it gives me more clarity on what I am trying to ...

Amazing. Writing about this subject is such a hard thing to do. But you faced it head on. You have courage and I admire that. This was very moving, keep ...

Thanks for this! I have SO much trouble deciding when and when not to place comma's. Could you possibly give me some general pointers about comma's? I need all the ...

Your poem really caught my attention, especially the conclusion. It felt even though it was an emotional piece it came out dry. I agree with Gracie not to use the ...

Dr. George Wallace, a military experimental scientist, huddles in the trenches soaking wet and exhausted. Shivering, George searches for the perfect writing utensil. A stick in the mud. He begins ...