Tomboy044

( Cat, Tamii, Destiny and Lola, walk into cafeteria. They sit at a table and Cat starts rummaging through her handbag ) ( Destiny starts laughing, Cat looks mad and ...

I really like this. I love how you have shared with us a little bit of your childhood and letting us in. Letting us see what it was like in ...

Really good poem. To make it more powerful I'd describe the injuries of the others more just to make the message more important to the reader. Good job! x

'Looking down at England in vain' would sound better in my opinion. Overall, really good! :) x

I see what you were trying to do and it's a clever idea but I think that you need to make it a bit more clearer... x

I liked it! I also liked how you told the story, it was really interesting! I want more! Congrats on such a piece of fantastic writing x

I really like this but I don't understand the bit about the plane. I understand how you show determination and yet a slight sadness which is really powerful! Great Work! ...

Really clever! I like your take on the afterlife too! Congrats! x

Brillaint! The only thing: 'try's' should be 'tries'. I really like how you show the isolation too! :) Good job! x

Hey Wranna, First of all I want to say congrats on starting a possible novel, it's alway exciting! I have to admit the way that the characters, with by far ...

You made me cry! This is such a powerful piece of writing as I believe that it really captures the writer's heart and makes them feel like they are witnessing ...

This absolutely gorgous. I like how you haven't set a really morbid tone yet still have a good level of respect. The imagery is beautiful as well! Your grandad would ...

The imagery of the room is powerful and extremely moving however I, rather unfortunately, have to agree with the other critics by noting its lack of connection with the reader. ...

Hey guys! Sorry it's so late but I've put a lot of effort onto getting this up today so I really hope you enjoy! ******************************************************************************** Progre

Painful Memories Ailia 17th August 2556. Looking at the date, misery as cold and as heavy as boulders settled in my stomach and weighed me down. Grief clawed at my ...